Tag Archives: list

5 Reasons I Love My Sister

5 Mar

Hold on, guys! I’m about to get semi-mushy on ya here.

She has been wanting a post about herself for ages, so I figured there is no better day than her birthday to give her one. Plus, this is the gift that imagination, writing skills, and finances will allow me this year!

A little preface for you before I dive into the numerical reasons of love I have for this girl. Her name is Laura, she’s turning 20 today, I believe her favorite TV show is still Gossip Girl or Kourtney and Kim Take New York, and she has a weird obsession for Pride and Prejudice and anything Marilyn Monroe. Now that you’re basically best friends with her because of my extensive research, here are just a few of the many reasons why I love this chica.

5. She’s stylish

Oh so stylish. Like seriously stylish. The girl knew who Marc Jacobs was before anyone else in the Friday Night Lights-esque town of Deer Park, Texas. Fashion has always been the one thing that gives her the greatest joy, and not in a vain, selfish, little-people-bow-at-my-excellence way. She understands fashion, gets fashion, and has great style herself. Just yesterday she wore a pair of high-waisted green shorts and got no less than 5 compliments in the restaurant we were eating at, and then about 1,200 compliments from random Austinites on the street.

4. She’s got a great personality

There’s this one scene in the fourth season of Mad Men where Lane Pryce is explaining to Pete Campbell why he gave Ken Cosgrove the position of head of accounts instead of Campbell himself. He says that Pete is great at making clients feel like all of their needs are being met, but that Cosgrove has the rare gift of making clients feel as if they have no needs at all. Not that Laura will get the reference at all (Mad Men is not on E! so there are doubts that she’s ever watched this), but this is me and my sister. She is obviously the Ken Cosgrove and I am the Pete. She really does have the rare gift of making those around her feel incredibly comfortable, wanted, and kinda cool. Me on the other hand, I’m like Nina from Black Swan. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication just to try to give off the appearance of being cool. Point for you, Laura!

3. She appreciates my taste in entertainment

I’m not sure that she would ever admit it, but I know that it’s there. She constantly asks me to give her a fourth of my iTunes library every 2 weeks, and every 2 weeks when she does ask, I act like I’m insanely busy and pull the “OMG! Discover your own music! Lana Del Rey is mine and nobody is allowed to know about her except for me! Ugh. Eeeeck!” Even in our twenties we still like to act like we’re 12. It’s hard for me to even admit it, but I really do like it when she asks me about new music or a new TV show I just bought on DVD or a new movie I saw at midnight (because I have no life!). As a human, all I want is to feel validated, that something I like is not completely lame or king of the dorks dorky. So, sis, even though I give you a rough time about you stealing my music or entertainment likes, I really do appreciate it. You make me feel like less of a nerd. Now if only you would finish Buffy The Vampire Slayer….

2. She wants to help people

She really does. Even though she can be a major diva to me, I know that she really does want to do good in the world. She’s basically the white Oprah. She is one of the few people who while picking her major for college took into consideration what she could do to help others with her degree. I believe she has finally settled on fashion merchandising, and while it seems that there is nothing humanitarian-esque about that degree, she will figure it out.

1. She completes our family and is the best sister ever

(You need only see our family postcard from Vegas)

It really isn’t as hard to admit it as I like to pretend it is, but I really do love my sister – 12 year old Zack is gonna kill me. She is one of the greatest people I know. She’s fine, fresh, fierce and has it on lock. She’s my sister and I’m proud to say that. Love you, sissy. Happy Birthday and welcome to your 20’s! You’re gonna love ’em!

My Top 10 Favorite Songs of All Time

27 Feb

Now that I live in Austin I spend a lot of my day stuck in its infamous traffic. It seriously starts at 3 in the afternoon and doesn’t let up until about 9 at night. Being that I spend a lot of time in my car, I have a lot of time to listen to music. I also have a lot of time to debate in my mind what my favorite songs are. There are a couple staples that have stayed with me for years and years and will never relinquish their spots on this list. Then there are others that are new to the game and could be interchangeable as the years go on and my music taste either matures or worsens.

So without further ado, here are my top 10 favorite songs of all time.

10. “Right Here, Right Now” – Fatboy Slim

Reading these first few entries on the list you may realize that I really like a good instrumental score. The basis for if I truly like a song is if I can picture it set against some sort of film or television show – it’s me, go figure – and scores seem to have that impact on me. However, if you were to ask me to name any other Fatboy Slim song, I probs couldn’t do the deed. “Right Here, Right Now” was and has been the peak interest I’ve had with the 90’s band. This song is so incredibly campy, creepy, sexy, and intense that it’s no wonder Veronica Mars used it when she finally uncovered who the campus rapist was. And if a song is used to unmask the evil of rape, well, then it’s fine by me.

9. “Intro/Islands” – The xx

I’m still in a love affair with The xx. As I mentioned above, the mark of a good song for me is if I can picture it set to a moving picture. Add to the fact that I can listen to it at night before bed on a continuous repeat and you’ve got yourself the number 9 position on this list. It’s hard for me to choose just one song off of their debut album, that’s why they get two. Both “Intro” and “Islands” are perfectly cinematic in that they make you feel incredibly sexy and give you an I-could-own-the-world-right-now-if-I-wanted-to attitude every time you give it a listen.

8. “In The Hall of The Mountain King” – Edvard Grieg

It’s the greatest piece of symphony work in the history of symphony work if you ask me. Only one word can really describe it and give it justice: EPIC.

7. “White Winter Hymnal” – Fleet Foxes

It’s hard to not hear the beginning of this song and not automatically feel safe and warm. While Fleet Foxes have admitted that the lyrics in the song don’t mean too much and that the song was initially made to experiment with different vocal techniques, the feeling that I get after listening to this song is much like a little boy on Christmas morning. I feel like I’m on the plush carpet in my grandparents wood cabin up in the high mountains of Alaska with a nice fire cracklin’ next to 7 welsh corgi puppies sleeping soundly. That is to say, I feel at peace with everything in the world.

6. “Hurt” – Johnny Cash

For the longest time I used this song as the fantasy theme song to my fantasy television show that I dreamed about creating. There is so much raw emotion in Cash’s version, that he makes Nine Inch Nails’ ode to regret and the low’s of life all his own. I still get goosebumps whenever I listen to the song, and if I’m watching the music video whilst listening, then bring on the waterworks. My father gave me an interest in Johnny Cash, Walk The Line gave me respect for Johnny Cash, Cash himself gave me love for the man in black.

5. “Rolling In The Deep” – Adele

Much like celebrity deaths, there are certain songs that when you hear for the first time you can remember every aspect of what was going on during those few minutes. During the first time that my ears were honored to hear this 3 minutes and 48 seconds I was sitting in my apartment at my desk completely in shock and awe at the power that I was hearing. While a lot of people are sick of the song because of its constant radio play, I could hear this song everyday (and I did for a good year) and never tire of it. This is the one moment of my life that I will allow for cockiness and arrogance because upon hearing this song, I rushed to tell my good friend, Lion-Haired Girl, about it and swore that if she did not sweep the next years Grammy’s for the song then I knew nothing about nothing. Thank you Grammy committee for proving my prophecy correct.

4. “No Cars Go/ Neighborhoods #3 (Power Out) – Arcade Fire

Arcade Fire is my all time favorite band… for all time. When I talk about music sounding cinematic, this band is the standard to which I hold. It’s so incredibly hard for me to pick just one song of theirs to stick on this list, that is why they also get two. I’ve had the privilege of seeing the band perform 3 separate times, and all 3 times they completely blew me out of the water by inventing a completely new show. “No Cars Go” is my fantasy song that if I had any musical talent at all, I would perform in front of thousands of people and they would be oh so impressed. “Power Out” is my ringtone, running song, shower song, driving song, everything song. This is the song that I make people listen to first if they’ve never heard of the band. It’s powerful, playful, and like almost everything the band does – fun.

3. “Crazy In Love” – Beyoncé

This be my jam! Like Adele, Beyoncé’s tour de force of a first single will always and forever be the greatest female pop song. This is the song you crank at the beginning of a party to get everyone in the mood to keep going all night long. From the first note of those blaring horns to the final uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh no no, Bey and Jay keep the insane anthem to hot love thumping. My awkward junior high school moment memory comes courtesy of this song. Thanks to the radio playing it in my 7th grade art class, I came to realize, only by the time the song was over, that I was the only one belting out lyrics… in front of the whole class. That is what this song does for you, though. It takes you to the soul-funk world that Miss Knowles created and only lets up once the dust has settled after all those booty bounces.

2. “Walk Through The Fire” – Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The moment where you realize that you can no longer live in youth adolescence, but rather have to nut up and just deal with the problems that the world can throw at you has never been more clear than in this Joss Whedon penned song from “Once More With Feeling.” I love this song so much that I painted lyrics from it onto a canvas and pinned it up on my bathroom wall sophomore year of college. “I will walk through the fire cause where else can I turn. I will walk through the fire and let it burn” is what greeted me each morning. Many could have taken this as a sign of depression, but to me it was just a reminder that life isn’t all sunshine. The villains sometimes win, the good guys don’t always get their way, and that is okay. That is the way life is. The song has basically been my free therapist for the past few years. Now that I am in the transition of moving from adolescent boy into a, hopefully, strong man, I can’t think of a better song to guide me.

1. “Evil” – Interpol

For some strange reason, this labyrinth of a song about a two timing bro-dude was my introduction into what music could do. Up until my listening of this song, I had never really paid much attention to music. I listened to what was on the radio, whatever country CD my family played in the car (Gretchen Wilson for the win), and the NOW! compilation cassettes I owned. This song is the reason I have my “picture it set to film” rule. This song is how I learned I could be inspired by something. This song is the reason Interpol can do no wrong. This song is creepy, it’s confusing, it’s funny, it’s completely terrifying when you watch the music video (I have a thing about dolls and puppets), and yet, it captivated my young mind as to what music could do for a person. It’s still the most played song on my iTunes, and whenever it shuffles on I can’t help but press the repeat button and feel like that young lad once again.

Well there you have it, folks. You stuck with this list until the very end. I hope that you got more out of this list than just “geez, his music taste kinda sucks.” Now I’d like to hear from you. What are your favorite songs? What music moments make you stop every single time they’re played? Let me know in the comments below.

Pop Culture Resolutions

1 Jan

It’s the beginning of a new year, which means that it is a new dawn for resolutions!

I admit to being one of the masses that sharpies my predictions on a post-it note of what I will achieve in the coming year. I then stick it on my closet door mirror and ignore it as hard as I try to ignore the flaws of the reflection in front of me.

I think that the only resolution I made good on this year was to read more. Thanks to a mindless summer desk job I read close to 9 books in less than the 3 months. A record for me. It being my final semester in college, I finally decided to study which included readings of textbooks every single night. I now have the knowledge of Professor Hugo Strange. Watch out, Bats!

So instead of creating the classic “I’m gonna lose weight, eat only organic and healthy, and workout everyday including Sunday’s and religious holidays!” list that will be another staple of mirror time neglect, I’m gonna make a resolutions list that I know I will excel at.

POP CULTURE RESOLUTIONS

While I’m still going to strive for that “Oh, these abs are just genetic. It’s because I’m cousins with Ryan Gosling and Wolverine” look in the new year, pop culture resolutions (PCR’s) are something I know I will have no problem at achieving.

My number one resolution is to keep watching great television. I figured if I watched as much TV as I did in college and still managed to graduate a semester early, working life will give me much more time to fill up my DVR and mind with great TV.

I’ve wanted to watch The Sopranos for decades now, and in 2012 I’m going to make this happen. I need to finally be able to understand the significance of the show on mainstream culture and the way television is produced today. And I really want to see the beginnings of St. Matthew Weiner of MadMendom in action.

I also really want to re-watch the complete series of Lost with virgin eyes, nor bias. I sort of gave up on the show during its final season. Waiting week after week to watch a sub par episode and still not get any questions answered left a bad taste in my mouth. But in all honesty, Lost is a show that is made for Netflix viewing. It’s one of the shows that you need to be able to set aside 14 hours of no social interaction or responsibilities to enjoy.

I want to expose my mind and ears to new music. To brag for one moment, I am going to be interning at the mecca of live music this semester: Austin City Limits. The employees there know their music, and I cannot wait to hear about new bands and musicians that will completely rock my mind.

I want to keep reading biographies. This is a genre that works for me – my favorite movies have always been biographical: The Aviator, Walk The Line, Indiana Jones (HE’S REAL IN MY HEART) – and, c’mon, if the industry is going to write a book or film a movie about someone, they’re life is guaranteed to be interesting. I’m currently working on the fantastic, Into The Wild (Internet, you will be hearing a lot more rants and thoughts on this book because it is completely changing me!), and I received the Steve Jobs biopic, and the controversial, My Week With Marilyn, for Christmas. This means my year has over 2,000 pages of biographical bliss ahead.

So, Internet, those are my PCR’s for the prophetical end-of-days year. What are your res’? Is this the year you will give into desire and watch every Real Housewives of every single county? Have you not cracked a book in ages? Do you finally want to know why you should care about this girl and her dragon tattoo? Sound off in the comments below and let me know what 2012 will hopefully have in store for you.

(Image credits: here and here)

Flight Grad Down

21 Nov

We have crossed the Atlantic, Pacific, and Western time zones, and have now found our Oceanic Flight in the strangest of areas: the week before Thanksgiving and all winter related holidays.

As any college student will tell you, this timezone is the most stressful. Papers are assigned, then delayed, then pushed back up, then delayed again, then due. Tests start furiously encroaching, and semester-long projects and presentations’ due dates are within sight.

I can attest this as fact because I have at least 8 papers due by December 6th – all totaling a minimum of 43 pages. Hooray!

So, shouldn’t you be studying and writing those pesky papers, Zack?

NO!!

This is a list post, people! While I do have a lot to do, school is the farthest thing from my mind. There are so many things I’d rather be doing, and these are them.

  • Eat at 24 Diner in ATX
  • Wear a sweater and not be sweating to death in it
  • Listen to the new Rihanna album (I’m actually serious about this one)
  • Start my internship at Austin City Limits!
  • Graduate
  • Read 5 weeks worth of Entertainment Weekly’s that have piled up
  • Fix all the problems on American Horror Story
  • Go garage sailing
  • Re-read ‘The Hunger Games’ trilogy
  • Convince myself that the latest series of Doctor Who was cohesive and fantastic
  • Vacuum my carpet
  • Stop obsessing over the love story of Jacob and Anna in Like Crazy
  • Get at least 4 people to watch all 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer before 2012 (it’s possible)
  • Buy a new plaid shirt

And there you have it, internet. I’m a pretty simple guy, and these aren’t very hard requests. Alas, all of this will have to be put on hold until I wrap up senior year here in college – or as Anna would say, university.

‘Hunger Games’ Trailer: GOOSEBUMPS

14 Nov

I don’t care what is going on in your life right now. Sorry, that was a little harsh. But, for serious! The first official trailer for The Hunger Games has been released, and to call it sheer perfection would be an understatement. Stop whatever you may being doing at the moment and watch this!

Check it out:

In 2 minutes and 36 seconds all my fears and qualms have been silenced by the sound of the first cannon signalling the beginning of the games. Because there is so much I want to hit on, I’ll make it easy and list out the bullet points for why I am obsessively awaiting March 23, 2012.

District 12

I’m expecting Aibileen and Minnie from The Help to come waddle off their bus and join in with the march toward the reaping. I mean this in the most respectful way of course. D12 is supposed to be a podunk town, and with just a small glimpse into Katniss’ home turf, you can see how impoverished her district is.

Greenery

This may be a personal favorite, but give me a lush landscape and I am sold.

The Reaping

You can feel the tension of the horrendous event of the reaping. The monochromatic colors and sheer silence only add to the feeling of impending doom. Oh, and the sadistic coo of one…

Effie Trinket

The horror of Effie staring straight into the camera, ushering Peeta to the stage, will haunt me for the next few hours. Trinket truly delights in performing the reaping each year, and her pop of pink color is enough to turn any child pale with fear.

The Girl Who Was On Fire

1) Stanley Tucci makes a fine Caesar Flickerman. 2) Katniss looks both beautiful and utterly dead inside at the same time. What the actual Hunger Games do so well is mix equal amounts of entertainment with gory terror. If this quick moment is an indication of what is to come, helllllo new favorite franchise.

The Capitol

What could have been taken and turned into an amped up Disneyland has instead just become a slightly heightened New York City. Just looking at the skyline, you wouldn’t expect all the horrors that go on within to actually happen.

Katniss and Peeta

One of the first interactions between Peeta Melark and Katniss Everdeen atop the roof of one the capitol’s buildings is hands down my favorite scene in any of The Hunger Games books. I love it not because of the love between the Peeta and Katniss, rather I love it because this is the first conversation where you truly feel the weight of what the game is going to do to these kids. The scene is beautiful, and Josh and Jennifer seem to have great chemistry too!

Jennifer Lawrence is B.A.

You would think that because the girl has an Oscar nomination under her belt she would be in the clear from all the scrutiny of casting choices. No. Youth Adult novel adaptations are majorly under the microscope. But, I think I can speak for all fans when I say that Jennifer Lawrence is the PERFECT choice to play Miss Everdeen.

The Tube of Death

Geez, not since Augustus Gloop went up the chocolate pipe in Wonka’s factory has claustrophobic tube looked so terrifying.

Countdown

I’m sorry Beyonce, but I believe countdown may have a new definition after this film. I’m so glad the trailer ended with the opening cannon fire of the games. I even hope that we get no footage of the games at all and are just left clutching our hearts until the spring.

What did you think, internet? Is this not the best trailer since The Social Network? Are you as pumped as I am for spring? Was there anything that I missed that you are excited for? President Snow? Gale? The lack of Katniss and Prim’s cat? Let me know your thoughts! And, may the odds be ever in your favor.

Likes Lately; November 2011

11 Nov

I’m stealing a concept that my good friend, Lion-Haired Girl, started back in October. I’m gonna list out some things that I’m obsessing over at the current moment. And we all know that because I recommend it, it’s gotta be good!

I’ll start this list with something small.

WELSH CORGI PUPPIES!

Thanks to the tortuous device that is Kijiji, I have been contemplating wiping out my bank account and throwing away all means of a social life to adopt and care for a little Welsh. I know it’s going to be many moons and years before I’m in the position to be able to take care of a dog, but for now I can dream.

When Harry Left Hogwarts

Yes, I was one of the crazy people who went to Target right when it opened to buy their deluxe edition of Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Ok, I was the only person there to buy the deluxe edition of Deathly Hallows: Part 2. But, seriously, the documentary that is exclusively on the Blu-ray Target edition is worth the extra cash. The doc, 48 mins long, is short, but it sure packs a major punch. I was in tears nearly the whole time. I won’t spoil it for those who are waiting to watch it, but to be able to experience those last 261 days of filming with Daniel, Emma, and Rupert was sheer magic.

Winter Weather

I use this term loosely because I do reside in Texas where lately the median temperature has been about 91 degrees. Reminder: it’s November.

But for the current moment it’s a cool 70 with the hope of a low 46 tonight. I’m bustin’ out the pea coat!

The Muppets Trailers

I can’t even write a statement declaring how brilliant this is. Thanksgiving cannot come fast enough!

BOOTH!!

Not to brag or nufin,’ but that dude on my right just dropped his EP today. Yes, I am the friend/ex-roommate/ex-lover/brother in Christ of a legitimate recording star. I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommended you show him some love by going to iTunes and downloading this sucker. Your ears will love you for this. It is awesome. I could not be more proud of him, and I know that one day when I’m watching Gossip Girl waaaay after the appropriate time to stop watching and start watching CBS procedurals, his voice will be serenading Serena, Chuck, and the rest of NYC. The kids are gonna love him!

5 Music Recommendations

14 Oct

There are always those days where it seems like you’ve exhausted the catalog of music your iPhone/Touch/Pod can hold.

Well here I am to give you a few new artists to download and cram into your 16GB musical device.

1) Benjamin Francis Leftwich

A gracious friend of mine turned me onto the soul-calming sounds of Mr. Leftwich the other day. Literally, yesterday was the first time I heard about this folksy man. If you’re in the mood for something mellow to study to, lie on your carpet and read magazines to, or something to soundtrack over you while you stare out of your window at the night sky while petting your cat, this is your man. His voice is like cotton to the ears – it’s sweet and soft. And if close your eyes long enough and get those olfactory senses working, you’d swear you were either in the middle of emerald forest or on the deserted shores of an English beach.

2) Agnes Obel

If you like the smooth sounds of Ben but want something a little more haunting, look no further than, Agnes Obel. I downloaded her album a week or so ago after hearing her, “Avenue,” on my new favorite show, Revenge. She has been a great alternative to my sorrowful-girl-with-problems go-to, Lykke Li. Like Leftwich, Obel gives off a beautifully subtle sound that lingers in your mind and makes you feel like you’re in Seattle watching the rain fall into the river while a doe grazes next to the rock you are sprawled on. Just me? Hope not.

3) Feist

She’s a staple in almost any alternative music listener’s library. And let me say, her new album does not disappoint. My favorite of “Metals” has to be the first track, “The Bad In Each Other.” It has Feist’s soft mumble mellowing over guitar riffs, trumpets, and male vocals. The wailing “Oooooooh’s” towards the end of the track only cement it as one of my fav Feist numbers.

4) St. Vincent

At times I think this girl has more fun than Regine from Arcade Fire. She gets to be as kooky and as subtly eccentric as she likes and people love it. I have yet to listen to the whole of “Strange Mercy,” but from what I’ve heard so far has made me kick myself for not seeing her in Austin this summer when I had the chance. “Cruel,” the lead single, is a creepy, fun take on creepy, fun families (I guess?). If this song is not on American Horror Story by the end of its freshmen run, then I’ll bury myself as deep as Annie Clark does in the video above.

5) Simon & Garfunkel

Yes, they are considered ancient in the world of Billboard-chart-toppers-NOW music, but, honestly, you can’t fight classic. I’ll blame it on the fact that I now have a record player and S&G’s vinyls are anywhere from upwards of .50 cents at Half-Price Books. Lately I have not been able to get enough of the, formerly perceived, creepily-in-sync duo. It’s hard for me to recommend just one masterpiece, but if I must – it has to be, “For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her.” The song is flawless, and not just because it reminds me of my own UT nursing student Emily. Fast forward to the final, “I love you, giiiirrrlllll!!!” for the ultimate sound of beauty.

Ringer v. Revenge

3 Oct

The 2011 fall television season has surprisingly put women center stage. Pan Am, Hart of Dixie, The Playboy Club are just a few examples of how the ladies of entertainment are moving into prime time. Two lady-centric shows this season I was personally pumped for were Revenge and Ringer.

Now that both series’ have premiered the pilots and are moving into the single digit eps, I have to say that the two seem pretty similar. Let’s weigh the similarities of the two.

  • Beautiful Lead Actresses – I’ll admit that I looked up nothing about Ringer before it’s premiere. Sarah Michelle Gellar aka BUFFY!!!! was coming back to TV – that’s all I needed. Revenge is Emily VanCamp’s return to TV after the disaster that was Brothers & Sisters ended last year. They’re both blonde, they’re both gorgeous, they’re both ratings magnets.
  • Haughty LocaleRinger gets the city and Revenge gets the beach. SMG gets to fancy it up in the big apple while the latter, being set in The Hampton’s, is a refreshing take on New York society without having to repeat the same locations. Which is nice because, honestly, how many times has the cast of Gossip Girl eaten dinner at Butter?
  • Mistaken Identities – what’s a nighttime soap without a few dark secrets? Gilmore Girls, that’s what it is. And GG these two are not. Revenge has Emily Thorne hiding that she is actually Amanda Clarke, dum, dum, dum, who wants to seek the titular revenge on those who scorned her father, David Clarke, dum, dum, dum. On Ringer, Bridget Kelly is masquerading as her twin sister, Siobhan, and digging up all of Siobhan’s twisted secrets. While a good premise, this seems a little too complex for the 90210 viewers of The CW… dum, dum, dum!
  • Serialization – now I have my problems with serialization, e.g. Lost, but these two shows seem to be handling it pretty well so far. I’d give the advantage to Ringer right now. Revenge has set up its serialized formula of Emily enacting certain tasks of revenge while still carrying out her ultimate chore of figuring out what exactly happened with her father. Ringer on the other hand has made its key storyline Bridget/Siobhan unearthing mystery after mystery with no letup.

While the similarities in the two shows are there, the two are vastly different in their story lines and storytelling. Both are figuring out the groove they want to be in and both are pumping out some very interesting stories that keep me coming back each week to watch (sometimes even at their regular airtime!).

You can catch Ringer on The CW, Tuesday’s at 8:00pm and you can see Revenge on ABC, Wednesday’s at 9:00pm.

Stycons

2 Oct

Before we start, no, this is not a new venereal disease the cast of Jersey Shore concocted while in Florence this summer.

In actuality, STYCON is a company in South Africa that deals with polystyrene cornice products and instillation, whatever that means. In my reality, stycon is this,

Stycon (noun) – a mixture of both style and icon. A person (or group) exuding extremely

hot style, in terms of clothing, that one emulates to look, dress, be like.

Now that you’re up to speed with the new teen lingo, let’s look at some examples of stycons in action.

Left to right: Mr. Rogers, Ron Weasley, Don Draper
  • Mr. Rogers – this bro had more than just a neighborhood under his belt, he had a fine looking striped button-down shirt tucked in behind it. Deciding to opt out of the traditional male grey suit, we’ll get to you in a bit, Mr. Draper, Rogers donned a casual cardigan, blue jeans, and Chuck Taylor sneaks. Looking at Urban Outfitter catalogs today, it is easy to see that the Mr. Rogers was the original hipster dude.
  • Ron Weasley – it goes without saying that stars are to the night sky as I am to plaid. This wizard is to blame. Nobody does a plaid shirt better than the Gryffindor alum. I don’t know when my love affair with plaid clothing began (yes I do, freshmen year), but the Harry Potter franchise only fueled the flannel fire. Like Harry’s journey, plaid is timeless. It has been done time and time again. You can dress it up, dress it down, or dress your cat in it. Thanks to the youngest male Weasley, I am now poisoned in thinking I can wear a plaid suit to my own wedding.
  • Don Draper – this example needs no words. Just this picture.
Nuff sed

Honorable Mentions:

  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt

  • Matt Smith

  • The Drums

Jersey Shore: Let Me Count Thy Spray Tan Cans

30 Aug

It’s a simple (and relatively inexpensive) formula for success: 8 strangers + tricked out house + alcohol; shake, don’t stir. Cha-ching, ratings! That’s why MTV has stuck with it since the  equation was put to the test with the debut of The Real World in ’92. So why has Jersey Shore, which has stuck to the formula, blown up, not just into a ratings piñata or cultural phenomena, but a cultural brand and lifestyle? 3 seasons and 5 fourth season episodes in and this spray tanned gorilla shows no sign of stopping.

If you’re able to sit down long enough and analyze the equation, some startling facts are revealed that actually spell out why America has fallen in love lust psychosis with the kids from Jersey.

Crocodilly

He has yet to show his green, cotton-stuffed face since the move to Florence, but this season 3 scene-stealer may very well be the unsung hero of the Shore. No matter what the tone of the house, Crocodilly is always down for a good time. Be it a prank war, snuggles with mama (Snook’s), or a trip to Vinny’s twin bed, this croc is levels above the buzz kill that was Angelina. And c’mon, what’s a guidette without a juiced up Build-A-Bear?

Deena’s Coordination 

She flashed The Situation her baked lasagna 23 minutes into the season 3 opener, therefore, you knew she was gonna be crazy. But, for all her girl on girl make-out sessions, tireless efforts at trying to spin her own catchphrase  (Golden Ticket?), and attempts at persuading the house she really is part of their “family,” it’s her coordination that gets her a spot on this list. When the girl’s drunk she makes Michael J. Fox look as steady as the economies downfall.

Ronnie’s Personalities 

Honestly, the producers at MTV could fill up an entire shore house with the personalities that Ronnie  Ortiz-Magro has to offer.

  1. Single Ronnie – the one good storyline from Miami was the night that “Single Ronnie” was let out of the condo. He was fun, he was snookin’ for love, he was quite possibly feeling the effects of a kilo. Thus creating…
  2. Sloppy Joe – the Mr. Hyde to his Dr. Jekyll, “Sloppy Joe” gave us one of the most disgusting triple kisses since MTV aired one on Teen Mom, or Next, or Room Raiders (MTV loves a good triple kiss).
  3. Rammi  – the Ronnie we’ve known the longest has been the Ronnie that has been in a relationship with Sammi. The only good thing about this Ronnie is that it always entices Sammi to let a good “STAAAAAHHPPPPP” slip out during an argument.

Lost In Translation

Snooki, a map, a foreign land, perfection. The most brilliant move by MTV is sticking the cast in Florence, Italy. The guido movement could still be argued as a foreign culture in America, so it’s only fair to give the cast a new culture to attempt to understand… and sleep with. If you weren’t hooked after Sammi and Deena misunderstood an H&M for the Vatican, than you obviously were browsing the channels on your way to an NCIS repeat on TNT.

Jersey Turnpike 

Alright, Deena gave us something good. Season 1 gave us the fist pump and beating the beat. Season 2 gave us absolutely nothing (Like Sammi, I’m still a little bitter about Miami). Now, season 3 has given us the Jersey Turnpike. What was once a simple highway system for housewives and guidos alike is now the hottest dance move to drunkenly grace the floors of Karma. The dance is a simple formula as well: head down, ass up. With two simple rules it makes sense that our Italian friends love it so much. It’s hard to dougie and chicken noodle soup with a cup full of the-duck-phone-is-going-to-wake-me-up-at-3-in-the-afternoon-I’ll-regret-this-in-the-morning staring you straight in the face. All a Jerseyite needs for a perfect night now is a straw.