Tag Archives: White Boy

Things make sense eventually

14 Jun

“He was in God’s hands all along.” That was the only thing I got out of the snooze-fest that was The Tree of Life.

I’m pretty sure that statement is true though, because looking back at my old writings from elementary school, it’s easy to see God was guiding me to be the creative freak I am today.

Primo example:

Titanic 2

This beauty was my pride and joy while finishing out my years at Dabbs Elementary. I thought it was the greatest thing to be written since the last Baily School Kids serial I picked up at the book fair. Well, the gem has been uncovered from the time-vortex that is my family’s guest room closet. So without further ado, a masterpiece.


Hello, MGM, Warner Brothers, Disney you have your next page scribe right here. My fee is low and I’m willing to work through lunch!

Lately I have…

12 Jun

Been listening to rap music.

This boy…

…is slowly transforming into this boy…

Alright, the change hasn’t been that drastic. The photo above is my representation of Flavor Flav for a costume party in high school. A perfect interpretation in my mind.

I have been listening to some rap lately. A hit of Drake here, slice of Kanye there, and a little Nicki Minaj craziness sprinkled on top.

I’ve never had the keenest ear for the whole hip-hop craze that seemed to explode in my late junior high, early high school years. But lately I’ve opened my iTunes library to more than just indie rock and top 40 hits.

Payoff so far has been pretty swell! (Never has rap been discussed with the word “swell” in the mix. 5 points to Gryffindor!)

(Photo credit: ME!)

Honor Thy Father, Honor Thy Tina

12 May

Why can’t life be a Tina Turner concert from the early 70’s?

SERIOUSLY!

Look at how amazing life would be if it were this –

I used to loathe listening to this woman. My father was, and still is, a huge supporter of this raven-haired D-I-V-A. He used to blare her on Sunday mornings to get my family up and ready for church, his version of biblical hymns I assumed. We would listen to her morning, noon, and night for a good while.

  • “Simply the Best,” cranked so high in a Chrysler Seabring with the top down that it broke the sound barrier while driving to Kemah Boardwalk? Check.
  • The hum of “Private Dancer,” echoing from my house, greeting me at the bus stop? Check.
  • His favorite, “Nutbush City Limits,” on constant repeat from the age of 14 until graduation day? Check.

The lyrics of Miss Turner were incepted into my mind from an early age and I hated it. “She isn’t 104 KRBE,” I would scream to him, “I hate this!” Once leaving for college I thought I had escaped the bejeweled grasp of Tina for the final time. Fast forward to last semester when I found the video above while cruising YouTube for videos of girls making fools of themselves on Next. Suddenly, it hit me – my dad had it right this whole time. Tina. Is. Awesome. So much passion and fun and glitter go into her performance that it’s a testament to my own self-control that I didn’t go to Buffalo Exchange and search for her dress in hopes that it would make my life as fantastic as her is in that video.

Tina, girl, I fought you for years, but because of that video I whole-heartedly give myself to you and your ferociousness from here on out. Signed, sealed, delivered, I’m yours.

Sprinting Towards The Savior

11 May

There are certain days, like today, where I am stuck at work while all of my friends are enjoying life outside of the compound that is the 3:45-6:00pm shift at Derrick Hall. I know, I know, who wants to read about a white boy complaining about how hard working a 2 hour shift is?

No one.

So I’m going to talk about something else instead.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a disconnection with God.

EEERRKK!!!

Yes, that loud screech you heard is the sound of my Saturn Vue smashing to a halt and swiftly turning about 180 in conversation. At the beginning of this semester my relationship with God was on the Hogwarts Express bound towards awesomeness. I had never felt so alive, so loved, and so happy in my life. The company I was keeping was only helping water and grow this watermelon sized lump of a feeling. However, in the last few days I’ve felt that the watermelon season is over, the train has screetched to a halt, the whick that held the fire in me has been extinguished between two fingers.

I hate to admit it, but I feel like God has left the building.

I know in my heart of hearts that this is not true. That this is one of those weeks that all Christians go through time and again. It sucks though. It truly, truly sucks. The thing I love about being a Christian and about being a part of God’s kingdom is that I always have someone with me. I am never alone. This week though, I have felt alone. I have been stuck in my head with only my negative thoughts. Again, it sucks. Today though, I decided to make a change. Right when I got off from my work shift I went for a jog. If you know me, you know I don’t jog. I can probably count on my right hand the number of times I have jogged this semester. Today though, I went jogging.

I needed to try and see if somewhere along that stretch of Post Road I could find God.

I did.

A little more than 5 paces into my run, I began to pray. The hardest prayer I’ve prayed in a long time. I asked God to give me the strength to help myself, to help others, to make this sinking feeling of loneliness go away. After that prayer (and chasing a chihauaua through a trailer park), it hit me. If God needs me to be in this depressive state to further his spirit in me, let me be in this depressive state.

With this realization, I sweatily went into this rundown graveyard that is near my apartment complex. I walked through the headstones and found a bench next to the Garcia’s plot. I sat down and began to thank God for letting me be able to feel the way I feel. I thanked him for letting me be sad, for letting me worry about others, for letting me be able to feel at all. If it weren’t for Him in my life, there would be no point in wanting to feel again.

This seems like an awkward place to leave things, but I don’t really know what else to say past all that.

A verse that has helped me some this week has been Psalm 37: 23-24

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand”